What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
