Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
