I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
