I bet he comes in French.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
