he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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