Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
