if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
