Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
