You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
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