last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
