He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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