Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
