at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
