Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
