Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
