Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
