we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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