I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
