Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
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My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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