GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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