Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
