dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize