he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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