O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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