You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
