Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
