did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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