i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
