He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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