you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
