Whoa Z and x make the same sound
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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