none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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