i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
