Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
