I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've blown a few things in my day
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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