My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize