i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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