And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
