i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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