im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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