was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize