I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
