I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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