it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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