just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm too high and old for this...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize