Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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