So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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