two words: eviction party
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
