So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
