Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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