happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
