is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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