I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
