hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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