did you get engaged???
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
