bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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