naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He felt like a one man threesome
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
