Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
