dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
