So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
