dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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