He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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