she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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