i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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