I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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