does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize